I Dare You To Move

Have you ever felt like not getting up in the morning? Do you ever wish that you could just die and leave this world? How about ending you own life? Sometimes we pass by people in the street that are completely alone, and we never notice. We could just glance at them and not notuce that they are crying. Has that ever happened to you? You just wish that someone out there could just only see you and feel for you? Know that you exist? I sympathize. I'm sure it has happened to every one.
At this point, we begin to feel worthless, lonely, unloved and forgotten. Yourself asking: "Lord, What happens next?" Well, kids, welcome to the planet. Welcome to existence. I bet you didn't know that we are watching you. Every one is. All of us. We are watching your every move, your every emotion and lifestyle...it's just that we don't know it...not even you.
Every person you've ever spoken to, you've made a difference on. We analyze everything that you do, say and look like. Who are you? what kind of person are you? So are you just going to keep us guessing? What makes you tick, man? What is that spring in your step? Why are you going to church? How come you don't read your Bible anymore? These questions may not be voiced, but they are all there. Believe it or not, you are in the spotlight.
Here's the catch: I dare you to move! I dare you to get up, and stand up for what you believe in.Even after you are hit with the greatest blow, even when you are stabbed in the fight, get up, acting like it never happened. There are a billion people in the world that are striving to hear you story, countless soldiers looking for a king to serve. Who is your king? Christianity might not be in...but are Justin Bieber and Lady GaGa all that worth drooling after? Is Twilight a pursue-able dream? They aren't your God, creator and Father. THey aren't your friend's either. You know that--but do they?
You may have a torn heart, a heavy soul, and full of depression, but you're not dead yet! You have the very breath of life breathed into you by your father, and you have the ability to GET UP OFF OF THAT FLOOR. Here id your dare: move. Can you accomplish that? Will you step into the challenge, or finish that last chapter of Eclipse? Do you have a JB or GaGa concert to go to? It's your loss, child. Do us both a favor, and MOVE!!!!!!!
Inspired by this song:
"Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself, to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
 Today never happened before"
~ I Dare You To Move, Switchfoot
HOOSHA,
Abbey<3

Innocence

"I see why the good old days are gone..."

Note: In this blog post I rant a lot about the trash they put into movies and such these days. Although I do not get descriptive, I mention the word "sex" a lot, so if you might be offended by that, you do not have to read on. I know I'm taking a big step posting about this, but it needs to be said.

I will admit. I am a hopeless romantic. It is very rare that I like a romance-less movie, book, cartoon, or TV show. But really, people? REALLY? Must you ruin a perfectly good storyline with smut and garbage that makes it so I can't watch it anymore?? Take Heroes, for instance. I loved that show. It had so many cool guys and girls and superpowers and suspense and everything...but goodness gracious, was that show tainted. At first, it was just little scenes here and there. A stripper here, an affair there...but then you started getting into the fourth season and UGH, was that peppered with...joshness. It was everywhere. And it didn't help that not ONLY was Sylar falling in love with Claire, but there was this GIRL falling in love with her too!!! DX It's not just that, either. Some movies I probably won't be able to watch (and wouldn't want to) because Sarah already reported the damage Hollywood did to the new X-Men and to Green Hornet. >.< It is just INFURIATING. My sister and I call it "Hollywood Fever."

Turn on your TV. I dare you. I'd bet a hundred chances to one that you couldn't go for an hour without one reference to trash. Cursing. Gore. Sex. Or even a crude joke. What's that you say? You're watching a clean show? Oh, well what about the commercials?? Have you noticed that just about every hygiene commercial has something to do with sexual appeal or lust? I mean, gosh dang, I can remember this one soap commercial that had a woman in the shower and they all but showed...everything. (I'm sorry for those of you who are feeling uncomfortable reading this, but it does need to be said...)

How did things get like this? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I can actually tell you. Last week I read a few historical fiction novels that took place around that time where movies were just getting into style. The directors thought they knew exactly what would sell. Action. Adventure. When ratings went off the charts, they added more danger--like actually getting REAL cattle to stampede and nearly run over the heroine. Then they figured people wanted more about the romance between the hero and the heroine. Guess what?? In comes kissy face. >__> Now I will admit, I like kisses in movies (every once in awhile, and if it's not a dirty kiss like what was in The Chronicles of Riddick...UGH UGH UGH...more like a kiss like the one in Penelope). But then the directors decided to go one step more. They brought in the...umm...trash. And you know what? People liked it. They wanted more. And you know what? That's how we got to where we are today--because everybody wanted more. And nobody stopped it.

Now we live in a world riddled with lust, even to its very core. It's almost like gangrene. My sister had two little--little!--twin boys on her bus whose minds were more twisted than some teenagers I knew. I've babysat a five year old who was actually allowed to read her father's porn magazines (and yes, he was married). Everywhere you turn, you see a girl with a shirt cut horrifyingly low, and you see guys wearing their pants so we can see their boxers. And you think cursing used in normal conversation is bad? Wait till you talk to someone who lets loose a crude joke every few paragraphs, and you're the only one who blushes like crazy. They have taken something that was meant to be precious and turned it into...well, they've just...PERVERTED it. You can't even talk about marriage anymore without somebody dirtying it up.

Of course, they tell you that it's freedom. You shouldn't have to wait until you're married. In fact, you shouldn't even have to wait until you're an adult!! Even if you do get married, you shouldn't have to stay faithful if you fall out of love with your spouse. Did you forget to use birth control?? That's an accident that can be fixed!!! LET'S KILL YOUR BABY AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER!!! And you know what? While we're at it, why don't we vrigging LEGALIZE HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE?!?!?! Oh, and don't forget that innocent blonde girl in the corner who blushes every time someone says something perverted--let's make her feel STUPID for wanting to keep her mind, as well as her body, pure!!!

Well, America, you GOT your sexual freedom. You have millions of teenage girls who have ruined their lives because no good man will accept them. You have millions of children who have no father and mother--if they're lucky enough to make it out of the womb alive. You have AIDS, HIV, and hundreds of other STD's. You have poor confused boys who think they have to love other boys because girls are heartbreakers. You have girls who have their innocence stolen from them because they don't know that the clothes they wear tempt men beyond what they can bear. You have men whose marriages are ruined because of the beautiful vampires that walk the streets at night, seeking whom they may devour. You have children whose minds are blinded because the first thing they learn about "the marriage bed" is a graphic picture on the internet that they will never be able to forget.

I hope you're happy, America.

Still think you're free??

But you know what? I want to be innocent. To all those people out there who's ever made fun of me because I'm pure, TO HECKFIRE WITH YOU. Your plans have failed--I'm still going to wait for the man God has chosen for me, and I am going to wait until AFTER our marriage vows. No, I'm not going to look up things that will "satisfy" me until later. No, I'm not going to keep watching your TV show after you've polluted it with trash--no matter how much I like the superheroes in it. I am NOT some empty space for rent. I am NOT going to play love like a game. I am NOT going to go looking for temporary love just because I feel lonely. I want to be INNOCENT. I am going to STAY that way!!!

I wanna be innocent

Yours wholeheartedly

Innocent

Every part of me

Take me back so I can see

The way that love was meant to be!

Lock the windows...bolt the doors.

You hear so much good about the human race. We've developed all kinds of things, from telephones to flying cars. We've got minds that are beyond any other creature on this earth. We write books, we make movies, we eradicate sicknesses that have killed millions before us. But you know what else we've done? Screwed up. We might have found new sources of energy, but we're making holes in the atmosphere while we're at it. In our history, we have killed billions, if not trillions of our own kind in needless wars. We've torn down forests and poisoned oceans, things that God gave to us not only for their beauty, but for what they could offer us. And let's not forget that the very core of our existence has been torn apart--our families. We have made love worthless, and as a result love is treated like disposable wipes. Once we're done, we throw it away. (But did you know most so-called 'disposable things aren't really disposable? Do some research if you don't believe me.)

Now, just so you know, I'm not about to go on some environmentalist wacko rant. I'm not saying that humans should be eradicated from the face of the earth! If I were saying that, I'd be saying that I should die! Not to mention I'd be a traitor to my own kind. >_> I mean, God did put us here for a reason. But that reason was not to destroy. Yes, we were made to have dominion over this planet, but dominion comes with responsibilities. We're supposed to take care of what God has given us. I believe it was Teddy Roosevelt who said that we should preserve the environment for future generations (see, public schoolers? I am learning something!). We should not waste what God has given us.

(Look at where this post has gone. I didn't mean to talk about the environment! Whoo-hoo! Three cheers for ranting!)

My point is, that the one thing us humans seem to be good at is screwing things up. Every time we try to take something into our own hands, it falls apart. I can testify to that wholeheartedly. I have tried so many times to throw God out of the equation and deal with something myself--because I'm too proud to really ask for His help. I want to do it on my own. But the problem is, that I can't do much on my own. Except screw up, of course. If I wanted to, I could tell you about screw-ups of astronomical proportions that came from these two hands of mine. I've lost friends, I've made my parents mad at me, I've ruined my reputation as a Christian to my neighbors. Goodness gosh, am I good at royally screwing things up eight ways to Sunday. You have no idea.

When I first thought of writing this post, I was in a very depressed mood. The song that played in my head like a mantra was Relient K's Devastation and Reform: "I feel like I was born for devastation and reform, destroying everything I love and the worst part is: I pull my heart out, reconstruct; but in the end there's nothing but a shell of what I had when I first started." Why? Well, let's just say that I made one of my best friends a little angry with me because I lied to her and was keeping secrets. Not only that, but this little secret was something I was doing that my parents had forbidden me to do. (And no, I'm not going to tell you what it was. So there.) I felt so lost, and more than once I wondered, "God, what am I doing here? Surely you don't have any use for someone who does nothing but screw up!" And let me tell you right now, I was more depressed than I've been in a long time.

I'm not going to tell you that I had this revelation somewhere deep in my soul right when I said that. It took a couple of days for me to find the answer to my question. Truthfully, it's probably because I was too afraid to talk to God because I thought He'd be mad at me just like everyone else (in fact, I have yet to talk to Him about it)! But you know what I realized? I realized that humans have been screwing up since the beginning. Every time we get away from God and start presuming that we can do it on our own, we screw up. That's just God's little reminder that we're not perfect, and consequently, we need Him!

So. Now that I'm finished writing this, I'm going to have a one on one with my Lord and Savior, and YOU are going to add your reactions and possibly a comment. Oh, and listen to this song. ^_^

The Mirror Lies (FOR GIRLS ONLY)

We have this problem, one of the bigger problems in the world... Insecurity. Everyday we are attacked by this mental wave-link called the mirror. Daily, our insecurity shows on the face we scrutinize in the mirror. Daily, we rub the "big hips" that we don't like. What is the way out of this? Can we still find our way? And what if we don't? We are insecure with our weight, our looks and why God made us with these. Why not like Taylor Swift? Or Brittany Spears? Have you ever looked at their lives? Do we know if they aren't asking the very same questions right now? We, the girls of the world feel pressured to be a certain weight, height, and with certain looks about us. But haven't you noticed that the ones that are pressuring us are the ones who think the same way about themselves? Where shall we go to be free of this...situation, to break free of the bonds of "outward beauty" when we should be working on our "inward beauty"? Fashion is fine to a certain point, but we make it our everything because of the Television, the magazines, the newspapers, everything calls for us to be.... well "sexy" and all, but God calls us to be BEAUTIFUL INSIDE (and THEN out)! Where have we fallen? A rut of "Sexy and hot" pressures. God can only fix the rut we have made! Can everyone say Amen? AMEN!

~Mari J. Fahel~

ORANGIE, ORANGIE!

I'm going to share a personal story today. ^.^ its not entirely personal, but my dad once did something really nice that made a difference on a Korean woman.
My daddy was a soldier in the army, at boot camp, and was put in a camp thing in Korea.

A day or so ago, me and my family were eating dinner, and my daddy brought up his days in Korea. He said:
 "Once I was just walking down the sidewalk, casually peeling an orange, and this lady that your mom had a soft spot for went walking past me, and seeing me eating the orange, she burst out into tears. I didn't know why at first, but you see, people can't get  oranges in Korea---they cost a lot of money. Someone like her couldn't have oranges. I was an American soldier--i was treated better. I could just stroll down to the market and get myself an orange, and not even think about it. "
 So Daddy walked down to her little shop, and asked her what was the matter; Of course, he couldn't understand a word of the
Korean that she was ranting away--but he understood this: "Orangie, Orangie!" she cried in her distress. She sobbed,"Orangie!"
"alright!" Daddy said, being the  guy he is, he said, "ill walk right down there and get you a whole bag!They're just around the corner!"
 She didn't understand what he said, saying he'll be right back, but he left for the market. He, determined to stop the poor old lady's tears, got this huge paper bag and started taking out bundles and putting them in.
He then strolled down to the store. Holding the bag, he asked the lady, casualy, if she had one of those little mini strawberry-banana milk-shakes. She nodded, eying that big brown paper bag as she reached under the counter for it. When she brought it up, Daddy gave her a smart look, and hauled the oranges onto her counter.
" Are these enough to pay with?"
At this, the poor lady just broke down into tears. She begged him to let her pay for it, but good ol' Daddy refused(besides, soldiers got in trouble for  selling the Koreans anything!). This was more than she could take, the poor lady. She either really loved oranges, or she realized that she could sell all of those in her little shop! I honestly don't know, because my dad and this lady didn't use the same language---but even in a forein land, Christianity reaches out. This proves how even the tiniest action, no matter where you are, makes the difference!
HOOSHAH and God bless,
Abbey

You're not invisible.

Okay, get this. I went to sleep last night with Disciple's Horseshoes and Handgrenades blaring into my ears. No joke. See, heavy metal is such a part of me that it actually SOOTHES me instead of rattling my nerves. xD Invisible came on and though it's not as heavier as the others on that album, the lyrics are really strong and communicate what needs to be said.

I can quite confidently tell you that I learned absolutely nothing worth knowing in school--book wise. Of course, I learned quite a few things about the way the world turns in this day and age. The root of everything that messes up people's lives is that nobody cares. Because nobody cares, so many lonely outcasts hide their emotions from the whole world. I know because I was one of those lonely outcasts. Now, I know I said in my last post that I was a popular girl; that was true. I fit in every circle, from preppy to jock to goth to emo to nerd to the...just plain weird people. Everybody in the entire school knew about the sweet, pretty blonde girl who used to be homeschooled. There was a rumor going around about me and Zack... >__> Nothing too bad, just that he was my boyfriend. HA. We were just friends. TAKE THAT, GOSSIP QUEENS.

Anyway, back to my original point. I may have been the popular girl, but it was really only because I was a prodigy. I mean, come on. I was pretty, sweet, naive, innocent, nerdy, previously homeschooled, and Christian. I was like some sort of...well, I guess you could call it a circus freak. They only wanted to be friends with me because they wanted to find out what I was like. They could have cared less how I felt, what I was thinking or what I was going through. And let's face it, people, I was a good girl...in a crowd of not-so-good kids. They didn't really want to be around me because my sheer purity made them feel guilty about themselves. So, after my novelty started to wear off, I saw my "friends" start to fall away. Only boys would really talk to me, because of course I was a pretty girl. T.T As for the rest of the Mordor population...I would walk up to their crowd and say, "Hi," and they'd answer, "Oh, hi S*******," then turn away and continue with their conversation as if I'd never appeared. I could literally walk away and they wouldn't notice.

No wonder I turned emo. >__>

It's not fun being alone, especially not in a mob of people where everybody has their circle of friends. The loneliness seems to swallow you up in this deep abyss of blackness, sucking all the life out of you. It's easy to feel like you're worthless and not making a difference in life. It's easy to feel like there's nobody in the whole wide world who gives a scrap about you. It's easy to feel like your emotions are killing you. The strange thing about it is, the lonelier you get, the lonelier you want to be, and you start closing yourself off from everyone. You yell at the people who truly care about you, and you get buddy-buddy with the people you barely know because, well, they barely know you.

TAKE THAT, ALL PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE JUST CUZ I'VE BEEN SHELTERED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE!!!!

(not that any of them are going to be reading this...but...I just had to say it.)

Christians, you need to watch for those outcasts! They are out there, and though they might act like they want to be alone, THEY DON'T. Deep down inside, they want somebody to care to listen and understand. If there is no one who will do that, their life will go down horrible paths. They'll get into drinking or drugs. They'll get into crime. They'll get into love where they waste what was meant for their future husband/wife. They might even get into self harm and eventually suicide. Why? Because us humans were made to need love. Without love, we're empty. Our life means nothing, because love is what defines our worth.

Of course, there's only one love that's completely and totally perfect. That is the love of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, who died on the cross to wash away our sins and pay our way to heaven. That's the love that they, that all of us, are really looking for. But they have to see it first. Our first job as Christians is to spread the love and light we've been given. We have to look for the outcasts, go sit with them, talk to them, say hi to them, give them friendly smiles. We have to show them love. Yes, they'll wonder why we're paying them special attention. But if you don't push God on them (because they usually think God either hates them or doesn't care), only show them His love, they will see Him living in us. They will see His love through our love. They will eventually understand that the love you have is the love you get from Jesus. And their eyes will be opened to His gift. Someday, whether they become a Christian directly because of you or because of the seed you planted, they will be saved. (Can I say this for sure? Not really...it is their choice. But I can assure you, there' more hope when you love them than if you ignored them and let them stay invisible.)

If there is anyone out there reading this post who feels invisible, I want to tell you that Jesus does care. He can hear your slightest whisper, He can see your smallest tear. He can see right into your heart, and He understands every emotion you keep hidden there. And He cares. He will always care. He's cared since the beginning of time, way before you were even born. You matter to Him. And you know what? You matter to me--why else would I take the time to write a blog post begging Christians to care about you? Watch this video, I hope it says something to you. ^_^

Sick and wrong. WRONG SICK!

It's been cloudy and overcast all day today, with scattered showers here and there. The soft, sandy dirt is a comfortable peat-like texture that feels exilharating on bare feet, and the scattered piles of mulch in my yard are damp enough so they don't poke me. The temperature is not too cool, not too warm, with a deliciously balmy breeze fluttering through the grape leaves twisted around the lattice. I sit there on the bench underneath the skinny maple tree, listening to Flyleaf's "So I Thought." The notebook is balanced precariously on top of my crossed legs, while my faithful orange BIC Velocity pencil waits patiently for the words to come. The page is blank except for the header: "Chapter Six: 'Once you've been in the dark as long as I have, it can't surprise you anymore.'" I know what's going to happen. I just don't know how to make it happen.

Ah, writer's block. It's enough to make one feel quite useless. Especially when I work on my stories so hard because I feel like they're the one shot I have at making a difference in this world. My friends are the proud, the few. I barely get comments on any site I've ever been on--I'm lucky to get a total of three on a post, story, or status update. I barely get half as many listeners on my radio show as compared to my dad or any one of his friends. In the back of my mind, I think maybe, just maybe, if I can get at least one book published, then I'll make a difference. But the truth is, I know deep down inside I could probably count the sold copies on one hand. Why? Because only my friends would buy my book. Only my friends comment, and only my friends listen to my radio show. I could just send them copies of my work and never get my book published anyway. So, when I'm hit hard with writer's block, I ask myself, What's the point?

My dad keeps telling me that I should finish my book because it's going to make a difference in the lives of my kids. That a guy would immediately snatch up a girl with 1) pretty long blonde hair, 2) a pure heart, and 3) several books published. And by getting a guy, that means kids, right? :(( The truth is, that the town I live in is full of punks who don't appreciate a girl like me. They don't like good, because good makes them feel guilty. Besides, they don't want to actually get married...they want to have their way with a girl and skip on to the next one. I probably wouldn't meeta "good guy" on the internet, either, because after several experiences in the past two years, I have a hard time trusting a guy's word, period, much less over the internet where lies are much easier to tell.

And days like these are the days where I wish I could still be in public school. It's crazy, I know (not to mention kinda stupid). But when I was over there in Mordor, I had lots of 'friends', lots of people who liked me, lots of fangirls, lots of fanboys, and lots of people who would actually listen to me when I talked. Plus, there's a lot more choices in the guy department. (Haha, now I sound like I'm comparing boys to shoes! XD ) I had lots of people I could help--lots of people who could talk to me and I would listen, lots of people I could give advice, lots of people I could give homework help, lots of people to share smiles with and brighten up their day. A hug. A handshake. A kiss... (And now I'm quoting Rogue.)

Those were the thoughts running through my head as I sat there in my backyard. I glared at the tree in front of me, as if I had something against it. But then I remembered something Zack told me, only a week ago. "If you lived your whole life suffering every day, and then one day you saved someone's life, is it worth a lifetime of suffering worth living to save that one person?" Not that I'm not really suffering anything worse than a bad case of melancholy, monotone mundanity. But it's true that I do make a difference, however small it may be. I make a difference with my dad's friends, because I know my way around the computer and can do amazing things with their episodes, their websites, and their logos. I make a difference with my friends in real life; I'm the one person who actually wants to be friends with the short, nerdy, weird girl living down the street, and I'm the one person who will always be there for the guy whose life seems to be falling apart. I make a difference with my friends on the internet, because I'm the sweet, crazy girl who believes friendship is just as strong from a kajillion miles away.

So, I bent over my notebook and started to write. As "Beautiful Bride" started doing serious damage to my eardrums, my pencil flew over the paper, true to its name. I wrote an entire paragraph before my dad threw a ball at me to get my attention--he had something he wanted me to do. My lips curved into a smile and I ran into the house. And now I'm sitting here finishing up this blog post; as soon as I do, I'm going to tackle that Killer's Creed again.

Cuz I remembered that I'm a little more than useless.

Zombie Christians Among Us!

This? Your neighbor? Your brother? your friend? YOU??? Naaaaah! No such thing as "the walking dead"....but what if I told you that there was,and the so-fabled "Zombie Apocalypse" is already at hand, and has been for decades? "what? Nooo," you say. But ah....you are mistaking zombies for the guy at the left.

Zombies are literally the walking dead, yet they are also not literally. o.0 what? you don't understand? well, let me make it more clear to you: Ever seen a person call themselves a christian, go to church precisely every time the occasion calls, but even in church.....THEY ACT SOOOO FAKE...and it's so obvious? Yeah. That's what preachers and such calla dead christian...and where I live, there are dead entire churches. Go for the rock music, go to look good, go to get a gf/bf....actually, my town is made up of these zombies! My neighborhood! How do I ever get around it, You ask? Well...I'm still working on the zombie cure. :/ but I'll get it eventually! But when I do pull it up, it'll have a great deal to do with the Bible and Jesus will have to be at my side. Besides, who could face a Zombie Apocalypse without a trust-worthy partner?
If you're having problems with zombies in your christian home, then just call the zombie exterminater, and They'll help you(God the father, God the son, and God the spirit, and their trusty HOLY BIBLE handbook written just for you)!!!! Just close your eyes and fold your hands....help is on the way!
Best wishes and God bless,
ERIKA